ILGM – Editor’s Choice (2026)
ILGM is the US‑focused seed bank with a germination guarantee and fast shipping. Trusted by thousands of growers nationwide.
- ✅ Auto-flowering & feminized seeds
- ✅ High germination rate
- ✅ Fast US shipping
- ✅ Excellent customer support
Herbies Seeds
Herbies Seeds offers a huge selection with worldwide shipping. A solid choice for international growers.
- ✅ Wide variety of strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Good customer service
- ✅ Payment options available
Crop King Seeds
Crop King Seeds offers a variety of Canadian strains. Slightly lower ratings but still a good option for many growers.
- ✅ Canadian strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Decent customer support
- ✅ Payment options
Cheese Quake. Just the name sounds like a stoner’s fever dream or a late-night snack gone nuclear. But nah—this isn’t about nachos or dairy disasters. It’s weed. Real-deal, sticky, stanky cannabis. And not just any strain. We’re talking about a crossbreed from the twisted minds at TGA Subcool Seeds: Cheese and Querkle got freaky, and boom—Cheese Quake was born.
First off, the smell. Jesus. It hits you like a moldy fruit basket left in a hot car. Funky cheese, sour grapes, maybe a hint of gym sock? But somehow—it works. You crack open a jar and suddenly the room’s filled with this weird, creamy, fermented sweetness that makes your nose wrinkle and your mouth water at the same time. It’s gross. It’s great.
Growing it? Not for the faint of heart. She’s a moody girl. Short, bushy, temperamental—like a cat that bites you after purring. Indoors is best unless you’re somewhere with perfect weather and zero nosy neighbors. The smell alone will rat you out. Yields are decent, not massive, but the buds are dense, purple-flecked, and sticky enough to glue your fingers together. Trichomes like frost on a windshield. You’ll need scissors. And patience.
Now the high—hoo boy. It creeps. You think, “Eh, not much,” and then twenty minutes later you’re staring at your hand like it’s a foreign object. Body melt. Brain fog. But not couch-lock, not exactly. It’s more like your limbs are made of pudding but your mind’s still doing somersaults. Good for pain, anxiety, boredom, existential dread. Bad for productivity. Or maybe that’s just me.
Honestly, it’s not for everyone. If you’re into citrusy, clean, daytime sativas—keep walking. Cheese Quake is messy. It’s weird. It’s got that old-school funk that makes you feel like you’re doing something slightly illegal even when you’re not. But if you’re into that kind of thing? If you want a strain that punches your taste buds and then hugs your brain? This might be your jam.
I’ve had batches that tasted like blue cheese and red wine. Others leaned more toward grape candy and diesel. It varies. Phenotypes are all over the place. Some lean cheesy, some go full Querkle. It’s a genetic dice roll. But that’s part of the fun, right?
Anyway. If you see Cheese Quake seeds on a menu somewhere—grab ’em. Or don’t. More for the rest of us.